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2006-03-16 - 2:42 p.m. whatever you're looking for - tom petty and the heartbreakers did i talk about the day of shopping in the fashion district in downtown l.a. we spent w/ patches? it was the day of the matt pond / youth group show. we got up, ate at roscoes, and went into downtown l.a. i got socks, a cool little santo necklace, a 5 dollar social distortion tshirt, a castro looking military type hat for 7 bucks. it was fantastic. matty got some tshirts, boxers, and sunglasses. i love the fashion district. it's like a different world. we got home around 3ish and matty took a nap. patches and i went and smoked on the balcony. i was sitting in a chair with my bare legs propped up, and she was like, "you have really nice legs, tony. they're really toned". i didn't say anything, but, if you read this with any regularity, you may remember that this is the girl who loudly announced that i had, "skinny legs" at a crowded cafe. now, they're "really nice". whatever! anyway, at least this time: a) there was no one around to hear this, and b) it was a compliment and not a critique, like it usually is with her. also, the show that night was pretty fantastic. i like matt pond, but i love youth group. do you have their cd yet? that's y0uth group and the album's calle skeleton jar. it's fucking amazing. seriously. they were awesome live. i got goosebumps for gods sake. the funny thing is that i noticed that a lot of people left after they came on and apparently didn't even care about matt pond PA. bottom line, youth group? fucking awesome. in i'm a clean freak weirdo news: patches and matty ganged up on me, talking all this shit about how funny i am, and what a neat freak i am. they're so full of it. listen, you work hard, buy nice things, and take care of them. simple as that. am i wrong / crazy? if someone makes a mess, you, someone else, whoever, you clean it up, right? what is so crazy about that? people who leave stains, spills, crumbs, etc. all over the place and just look at shit accumulate over time....well, if they're not crazy, how the hell can i be? oh my god, the more i defend myself, the crazier i sound. i can't win. it's not like matty's some big fucking slob, but, he's just more lax about that kinda stuff. i don't get on his case, why does he get on mine? you're a neat freak, you're too shy, you pull away... he calls me pretty boy and i'm not even pretty. i'm not feminine or delicate looking, i don[t spend an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror and have a crazy amount of beauty products. i just really resent that whole label. it's a whole lotta bullshit to be saddled with. it's a crappy way to reduce somebody to a one dimensional joke. i have faults, yes. absolutely. being constantly reminded of them, even as a "joke" is fucking bullshit. he just pisses me off sometimes. and it's my diary, and i'll whine if i want to, whine if i want to, whine if i want to... so, suck it. by the way, we're arguing. and i know that i've rambled about this before, but, the whole "puppy dog eye" thing....wtf is that all about? we were arguing, and he was like, "say something, damn it", and i was so mad that i couldn't. i just really felt like i would've ripped his head off. i've never completely just fucking cussed him out and went off on him. well, last night, i really felt like i could have. so, i couldn't speak, and i just looked at him, because i couldn't believe how fucking pissed off i was. and he tells me, "your puppy dog eyes aren't working, tony". WHAT THE FUCK? should i look at him with my eyes closed? blindfolded? what? gee, did i look sad, and hurt? i can't fucking imagine why. puppy dog eyes. that's just like the most completely fucking retarded description i've ever heard in my whole fucking life. i'm so irritated, right now. i'm just getting fucking pist again...so..... |
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