| current entry |
| older entries |
| profile |
| notes |
| lex designs |
| diaryland |
.....
 |
� |
|
2006-03-20 - 9:22 a.m. i want my baby back - chili's commercial matty and i are in truce mode. i'm still mad. which i kinda can't believe. we got into it the other night, which i know that i mentioned....angrily. it just got ridiculous. i'm not sure ridiculous is the right word. i had just had it, you know? i basically told matty, i'm fucking sick of this....if you have a problem with me don't hide behind "jokes"....quit picking apart every fucking thing i do....admit you have a problem with my shyness.... it was intense for sure. also, i wasn't totally playing the victim in all this bullshit. i owned up to my faults, of which there are many, and encouraged him to put it all out there and get the shit out in the open. it wasn't just me going, poor me. i wanted this to be about us, and OUR problems / issues with each other. if this was a one sided bitch fest, then it wasn't gonna work, was it? and i don't know if anyone cares, or why i always feel the need to overexplain everything, but, as crazy as this whole fight has been, it's not like we're a couple on the verge, or whatever. in fact, the thought of breaking up or whatever never entered my mind. in all the bullshit, i found that to be a really cool thing. like, i know that i want matty and we can work through the problems and not just throw it away. i told matty just that, last night, and he was like, "of course not, tony". so, i know that he wants me as much as i want him. i pretty much felt that way in my heart, like i knew he loves me, but, it was still nice to hear and be reassured. like to feel it is great, but, to hear it from the source is the ultimate, you know? so, like i said, i'm still kinda mad. i don't know what to make of that exactly. i'm just gonna let that be, and just allow myself to feel how i feel. i hold too much in and that doesn't do anyone any good. so...... |
|
| � |
older entries: |