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2002-05-31 - 4:09 p.m. i love you...i honestly love you...olivia newton john i know i gotta bad reputation...alls it is is just talk talk talk...freedy johnston well, it's been quite a day. brent came over today to lay out. we were supposed to go the beach last week, but he couldn't. then we were supposed to go today, but i've been sick, soooo....he came to me. the back yard was just swell. i got to see him in his bathing suit...(cue angels weeping), and i got to apply sunscreen to his erection inducing body. |
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they should erect an erection in his honor. he's that hot. someone should also give me a medal for not dropping to my knees, and doing my impression of a hoover vacuum cleaner. we flirted mightily, but there were no real lines crossed. yes, i was thisclose to his package. i basically...in the name of applying sunscreen...got the grand, "hands on" tour of brent's body. his shoulders, arms, and back were no problem...really. i told him he could probably do his chest, then, he leaned against me, asked if i'd do it, and i agreed. so i'm massaging it into his chest...maybe teasing a nipple...then i'm tracing the outline of his abs, then following the silky line of hair just below his navel. i got to his waistband, and he asked if he should take his suit off. i told him no. so, i get up, and tell him, "all done", and he tells me i forgot his legs. he's on his back, propped up on his elbows, and he looks incredible. i kneel between his legs, and squirt on the sunscreen. i put his foot to my chest, and work the lotion into his calves, then up his thigh. my knuckles are grazing his balls. i know i didn't have to go up that high, but, i was really pushing it. so, i did his other leg exactly the same way, and then i told him, "now, i'm finished". he mentioned something about the lump in my trunks, and i became very embarrased, and he apologized, and i put up the radio, and it was a loooong time before either of us spoke. it's funny, i can be as...adventurous? bold? kinky? passionate? as the next guy, BUT, if you mention it, like at the time, it could seriously blow everything. the second i'm made aware that the other guy is aware, i'm probably likely to freeze up. my shyness knows no bounds. oh well. anyway, we started talking after that...which is good. i told him i was "obviously" attracted to him, and i was also involved in a seriously serious relationship, and i loved him (matt). "so you don't fuck around", he asked. "i have, but. i'm. not". i went on to tell him, that this was as close as i've come in some time. "so we were close", he smiled. "maybe. not that close, but maybe, a little too close". he let me know that if my itch had to be scratched, he was down. i told him i'd keep that in mind. so, i changed the subject, and we got along fine. after all that nonsense, i applied my own sunscreen. oh jesus. i'm a real dick sometimes. well, i'm going to tell matt right away, and i don't think it'll end us, or anything. we've had discussions about, "boundries", before. i won't get into that here because that's between him, and i. it's not a wide open relationship, but we have parameters. semi specific parameters. by the way, now that i'm proof reading this...i'm realizing that a: i sound like a full on fucking asshole, and b: i may be coming off like brent was totally throwing himself at me. he may have been, but i was totally catching...so, there you go. i just don't wanna make it seem like i'm some hunka hunka burnin' love who no man can resist. that is so NOT the case. it's just summer, and hot (it's like 80 today), and we're still young, and we're men, and any/all these things combined w/ a few kajillion other factors sometimes result in there being a lot on my plate. that's all. now, i don't wanna talk about this anymore....