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2003-09-07 - 12:13 p.m. your groove i do deeply dig - dee-lite hey, i'm sick. i feel like crap. matt's trying to nurse be back to health with soup, and o.j. he's a sweetheart. i blame my kid brother for all of this, since he was the "carrier" of this horrid virus. annoying. today is my sisters birthday. she is 20 years old. i love my sister very much. since i'm sick, i'm very maudlin. touching commercials, or television shows are making me tear up. i'm pretty sure i've mentioned this phenomenon before. after a couple of days, i get very mushy. i guess in my weakened, sort of....altered state, my subconcious sort of takes over. things that worry, or sadden me come to the forefront, and i get super bummed. this has been true ever since i was a kid. i remember being sick, i was about 7, maybe, and i was at my aunt's, instead of school, and i hid behind the curtains, and cried. when my aunt found me, she told me that it was okay, that she got sad when she was sick too. i remember that made me feel better, cuz i was embarrassed about crying, and being found crying. unfortunately, not much has changed. at least, i don't cry anymore. i just want to cry. is that an improvement? don't ask me what about being sick brings all my worries out so strongly. i'm used to it, but, i still don't like it, and i think it's just the strangest thing, you know? i watched "foxes", yesterday. if you've never seen it, do. it's just such an interseting glimpse into teen/ young adult pathos from the 70's. i've got this whole thing about the 70's. the clothes, the music, the films, and just the whole look, i guess. that decade has always fascinated me. if i was a young adult at that time, i don't know where i'd want to be. it's a 3 way tie between, los angeles (punk, fashion, pot, sunset strip decadence), new york (punk, post punk, fashion, art, studio 54 decadence), and san francisco (gay liberation, all sorts of decadence). i don't know. i'm really out of it. i've been sort of wathcing the u.s. open. i don't really like tennis, or understand it, but, i do like the hot guys in shorts, with their sweat soaked shirts clinging to them. i used to have a big crush on boris becker, and stefan edburg. i watched agassi and ferrero, yesterday, and i have to say, i'm a ferrero fan. he's fucking hot. today, he plays roddick, who i'm on the fence about. he's kinda hot, kinda not. anyway, here's ferrero.
time to medicate, kiddies. late.... |
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