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2003-07-02 - 11:15 p.m. why should it be you and i should get along so awfully? - depeche mode dinner tonight sucked balls (and not in the good way). we met the biggest cock knocker ever. he was a friend of a friend of matt's. basically, this guy was jealous of our being in a relationship, and all he did was try to pick up on matt all night. i can deal with that...pretty much. what got me pist was the fact that he was full on fucking rude to me in the process. he actually stepped in between us on the way out of the restaurant and took matt by the elbow. matt and i were in mid conversation. i mean, what the fuck? matt stopped, held out his other hand to me, and said, "c'mon, babe". that was cool as fuck, but i was still pretty pist. on the way to our cars, amidst the goodbyes, this guy corners matt and is asking for his number. i can hear him. this guy has no problem with that. matt's like i'm living with my boyfriend, i'm in love, not interested. and the guy's like, i hear he sees other people. that did it. i went up to him, told him to go home, he turns to me, and he's like, "you can't...", and i already had him pinned against matt's truck. i put the fear into him, "i can't? i can't? i just did you fuckin'..." blah blah blah. i won't bore you with the details. he was not a tough guy, so i took it easy on him. mostly talk, not too much rough stuff. let's call it, cosmetic intimidation. yeah, nice. anyhow, he's apologizing, and i'm just letting him go, and he tells matt, "you shouldn't let him tell you what to do". i still had a hold of him, so i kinda threw him down, told him to get the fuck up, more blah blah blah. i was fully ready to blast this guy. matt gave me his 'i'm fully fucking serious' look and said, "don't". i didn't. we came home. i'm mad right now. i've been in fights, and i know how to fight. BUT, i don't go looking for trouble. it's not my thing. never has been. i don't want matt or his friends to think i'm some troublemaking jerk. it's not like matt's mad at me, but i'm just worried that he might get the wrong idea about me, like inside. i haven't exactly won his friends over. my shyness coupled with their shady attitudes isn't a winning combo. whatever. late
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