2006-06-26 - 11:42 a.m.
um......thanks?

lord, i can't change - lynyrd skynyrd

oh, what a weekend. shirtless, sweaty dancing my ass off. fucking hotness.

yesterday (sunday), we went to a bbq/pool party at a co-workers of mattys' house. this girl is super cool and nice and recently divorced well.

this is the sort of social outing that i dread. although all of mattys co-workers have been nothing but nice....well, except for one fuckface pervy guy. anyway, i do like these people.

however......

they're not people i'm around enough to feel comfortable with.

matty gets a little uptight before these things and i get the same way for my own reasons, so, there's always a little friction between us.

he was asking what i was gonna wear (so gay, i know) and i was trying to get the balls to wear a wifebeater but was getting embarrassed just thinking about it. so, he starts going, "you're not going to be like this all day are you?". i replied with, "fuck you, how 'bout i act like a raging twat all day?".....way mature.

i didn't want to argue and stress matty out since the day was about him and not me, so, i apologized and kissed his soft, beautiful lips and told him how i was feeling and it felt good.

matty apologized too, and we ended up screwing around. i have to say, we should have sex right before things that stress me out more often, because i felt really......loose, relaxed, you know?

i mean, i know that only makes sense, but, i guess sometimes i'm a little slow on the uptake.

also, when we were in the middle of things, my sweet boy told me how much it turned him on when i opened up to him.

again, sometimes i'm such an idiot. opening my heart up is sexier than just opening my......other parts.

alright, enough of that.

check out what i got in my inbox, this morning:

Shy Step 1: Accept that you�re sexy
If you�re shy, you may not realize how many people find you sexy, but they do! It�s not unlike folks finding nerds and geeks super-attractive (consider the appeal of stars like Beck and Jason Mraz). There is a je ne sais quoi � an indescribable attractive quality � that shy people carry. It�s the mystique factor: When you�re not effusive in conversation, it makes others intrigued by what you�re thinking. Many people are drawn to that perceived vulnerability or just turned on by the challenge of getting to know what�s behind the shy face. In social settings, you don�t have to try to be someone you�re not�realize you�re already hot.

the preceeding was sent to me by a dear friend whose name rhymes with snatches.

i just thought i'd share because it's been a long time since i'd gotten any of these "helpful" little articles.

i guess it's nice when people see these things and think of me. trying to encourage me or what have you.

i'm in a good mood so it's sweet.

later........

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13