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2003-12-12 - 10:28 a.m. strangers in the night, exchanging glances - frank sinatra we had dinner w/ patches and jose, last night. it was a spur of the moment kinda thing. we ate in santa monica, near third st. then, we went to second spin (used record store). i don't like that place. i don't know what it is about it, but, no me gusta. other than that, it was good to get out of smltwn, and see our friends. plus, i finally got to sport my thrift store express jeans. by the way patches kept pinching and complimenting my butt in them, i'd say i made a good choice. i don't want to make a big deal about this, but, when she'd pinch my butt, or done other things in the past. i think about her sexually. she's not the only female i've thought about in that way over the years. i'm particulary drawn to breasts. they're...intriguing. like forbidden fruit or something. sometimes, i just want to touch and kiss them. not that often, but, sometimes. it's not like i think i'm straight, or bi. i've been into guys for as long as i've been "into" anything. i just wonder how many other mo's ever get curious about womens bodies. although, it's pretty much above the waist curiosity. female genitalia makes me uncomfortable. in much the same way i'm sure a lesbian feels about the thought of a penis and those unusual testicles that just hang there. see, it's all weird if you look at it in a certain way. i'm not knocking the female body either, so don't even go there. just because i, a gay male, say i can't get into what's doing below the female waist, doesn't mean i hate women, or find thier bodies gross. i'd rather have my face between a guys legs than a girls. it doesn't matter. oy, all that, and alls i wanted to talk about was my breast curiosity. on to something different. today, here in california, latinos are being urged to not go to work, or school, or purchase anything. we're being urged to not do anything today so that "we" can show sacramento, gov. ah-nuld, and, i'm assuming, "whitey" (even though nobody would ever admit to that last one), that latinos are a force to be reckoned with. our numbers are large, our dollars are important, and not having us as workers, and consumers is a definite blow to the states economy. as a latino, mexican american, chicano, whatever you wanna call me. don't get me started on how i feel that hyphenating ourselves keeps us thought of as "minorities". when we say mexican-american, we're kinda saying we're from mexico, african-americans are from africa, etc. while, "white" people don't do that to themselves. at least not to the extent that other ethnicities do. there aren't too many french-american, british-american, german-american, swedish-american, or, irish-american stories that i hear about. i'm as american as apple pie. i truly am. i'm as american as any blond haired, blue eyed person. yet, if i call myself a mexican-american, i'm distancing myself from being an american. i'm putting mexico first, and honey, i'm not from mexico. just like african-americans are not from africa. by hyphenating ourselves, we make ourselves less american. like, yeah, we're americans, BUT, we're also...blah, blah, blah.... the thing is, there is no "BUT". i'm american. period. when the kkk used to make the talk show circuit regularly, like geraldo, or whatever, you'd get the angry black person saying, "you're an idiot", or whatever. i wholeheartedly agree. of course, the kkk guy would counter with, "go back to africa", or, "go back to where you came from". when another white person would challenge them, they wouldn't tell them to go back to europe. the unspoken thing was that the tolerant white person might be a n-word loving disgrace to the white race, BUT, they still belonged here. the kkk couldn't tell them to go back to where they came from, because they'd be in the seat right next to them on the flight back across the pond. all that would be left would be yet another hyphenated group, the native-americans. so, when we hyphenate yourself, you remove yourself from what's yours just as much as anyone elses. why would we do that? wow. that was a mouthful. my next bit is far more trivial, and light. more me, if you will. although, burton on survivor and his perfect in every way body is no longer going to be on the screen to give me erections, i'm glad that the women left on the island got thier shit together, and ousted those two arrogant pricks. i just wish they'd gotten rid of the blondie first. he's such a cock. besides, one more week of burton's hairy, sculpted torso, bulging calves, and watching his shorts dip down, just a bit, and exposing more of that flat belly, well, what would be so wrong with that? hey blankwave, if you're a geek for watching survivor, i'm right there w/ you, bub. you're probably not fondling yourself while burton chops things in his boxers, but, we've all got our things, right? later
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