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2005-12-07 - 12:12 a.m. i never meant to cause you trouble - coldplay i'm pretty sure nobody reads this, so, here's the topic: would you let anyone shave your balls? we had dinner w/ some of matt's friends, sunday night. (something that's been happening more often and i'm kinda sorta getting used to) the topic turned to body hair. i was asked if i ever let matty shave my nuts. i.....uh.....got embarrassed. i'm such an idiot. i hate getting like that in front of them. matt's fucking clueless and tells them like, no, they don't really need to be shaved. i'm thinking, asshole, my balls are not up for discussion with your friends. actually, it's not like i'm waxing philosophical about my nuts to my friends either. anyway.................... after what seemed like an eternity, matty finally sensed my discomfort and kinda said, like, c'mon guys, let's change the subject or whatever. my hero. sometimes, i get so uptight. i just didn't like the whole, pass the salt - do you shave your nuts thing. is that so wrong? of course, if la liz or mando, or one of my friends asked, it probably woulda been different. not that i'd jump at the chance to talk to la liz about my junk. oh, who am i kidding? she's fucking seen my junk. and mando....well, it's like you know, he's been there, done that. so, those were bad examples. whatever. did a little christmas shopping today. went to the camarillo outlets. guess who i went with? adam. yeah, we saw him at the club, and he came over and he was with this really cute guy. it was his boyfriend, and they seemed really happy. i liked him. before they left, adam came up and hugged matty and i and told me to call him. not in a flirty way, but like a friendly way, you know? i gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, yeah, i will. i dunno, like a week went by and he called. matt answered and he was on the phone for a few minutes and i was glad. oh, well, i guess i should explain why. when the phone rings, i tend to tense up. then, kinda hope that it's not for me. so, when he starts talking and i know that it's not for me, i'm kind of relieved, actually. kinda dumb, i know. so, when he brings me the phone a few minutes later, and says, say hi, babe. i was kinda like cautiously, hello? and adam's saying, don't be scared. it's just me. it was cool, after that. he basically told me that he knew that i wouldn't call him, because, quote, "i know how you are", unquote. whatever. it's a new chapter, bitches. i want to be his friend. matt told me that he does too. i'm glad, you know? we had fun today. i was good. i only bought myself one thing. these fantastic sky blue cords at the banana republic outlet. i couldn't resist. the most gorgeous blue. i guess that's it. i'm actually getting kinda drowsy....so... later. |
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