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2005-08-17 - 9:55 a.m.
very rambly entry

i'm a loser, baby - beck

i'm on vacation this week. see, i was gonna visit my cousin up in northern cali, but, it just didn't happen. of course, i wasn't about to not take the time off, so, i'm just sorta hanging around smltwn for the week.

woohoo!!

i skated over to the donut shop for an apple turnover and ended up standing around for half an hour talking to a girl i went to school with. she's divorced w/ two kids and looked like she wanted to eat me for breakfast.

her ex husband was a nice enough guy. he never really liked me, but, that's okay. he'd always make snarky comments about me, always in the guise of kidding around, but, still. she'd get mad at him, say, "(his name)", all exasperated, and just look at me apologetically (sp?). i'm not sure why he didn't like me. cuz i was gay, cuz his wife and i were such good friends and i was a guy (gay or not), whatever the reason...i guess it doesn't matter.

the last time i saw him was at my cousins wedding and him and this other guy who is a lot like him were trying to pick up on some younger girls, buying them drinks and stuff. awhile later, i was out in front of the hall, smoking, and the girl came out laughing, making fun of the guys. basically, saying what a coupla shmucks.

sometimes, girls are so mean.

anyway....what am i talking about?

off on a tangent,

again.

the girl said she just can't find a guy. i felt badly for her. young, 2 kids, divorced, and lonely.

here's the thing, aside from feeling bad for this girl, i felt so...immature?

i don't know if that's the right word.

like she's got all this stuff going on, and i'm holding my board, wearing my beater and shorts, looking like ty pennington or some shit.

she asked what i was up to, how i was, and, i got kinda embarrassed. i didn't let it show too much though cuz i already felt dumb enough, you know?

whatever, this story has no point.

i had a very stressful sleep, this morning. i dreamt that i was late for work, and also that my dad wanted to me to help build this big brick tower in thier backyard and i had to go to work, but my dad was all insistent and i yelled at him that i had a life and i wasn't able to be at his beckon call (beck and call? doesn't beckon call make more sense?) all the time. so, he was mad at me and my mom was mad at me and i was sooo stressed out. then, i woke up.

i think that's when i decided i needed an apple turnover. seriously.

here's something random: before "the o.c." was ever around, i used to call orange county "o.c.". everyone did. like on kroq they had the o.c. surf report. like l.a., right? well, now i can't say o.c. because it's like i'm doing it cuz of the t.v. show. isn't that retarded?

yeah.

we were talking about going down to newport beach, or somewhere and i told matty, "newport or somewhere down in o.c. somewhere other than l.a.", and i immediately felt stupid. he didn't even notice since he's from orange county, so he calls it o.c. too.

i swear, man. the things i worry about.

i was gonna complain about something, but, i can't remember what.

i definitely wanna hit amoeba while i'm off work. that place is dangerous. i could drop a bundle there 7 days a week.

i also wanna see "dead flowers" and "skeleton key" and that excorcist type movie. that looks scary.

i bought the sweetest chocolate brown cordoury jacket at old navy, the other day. i want some jeans. i'm still trying to decide if pocket flaps on jeans are too girly for me or not. like the pointy little ones, you know? they're cute on a nice ass (which i think i've got) but, still. they are a little girly.

i think we're done here.

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13

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