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2005-07-06 - 9:58 a.m. sleep, tonight - interpol last night, i watched "blow out" on bravo. i loved the first season of this, but, this one...not so much. jonathan antin is a complete prick. he gets really weird when you gesticulate, yet, there he is, sticking his fingers in your face and being all threatening like. douchebag. we also checked out the real world. these kids are retarded. everybody just wants to fuck everybody right away. forget the fact that you're gonna have to live with these people for weeks. not too smart. i mean, that's fine if you're never gonna see them again, but...... totally kidding. 4th of july was good. got up early, did the sex, went grocery shopping, headed uptown to check out the cars and listen to some bands play. lots of shirtless guys. not too many hot shirtless guys. this is smltwn, not weho, you know? lots of beer bellies. anywhooo...we decided to get out of the heat and head back home. i had like two beers at the car show and quickly developed a rockin' headache. matty teased me for being his "little lightweight" and as usual, he thought that was hilarious. whatev, dude. the upside of the beer was that it made me really horny. in the car i told him i wanted him and how stiff i was. you could've snapped it off it was so stiff. so, we got home, sex was had. it was hot. we laid around for awhile, talked, drank iced tea, watched the twilight zone marathon. good stuff. we headed out around 3 to ventura to matt's friends bbq. notice i say matt's friend. you know the deal. true to his word, matt stuck to me like glue and his buddies were actually not too fuckheaded. matty had his shirt off, and told me to take mine off, but, i wouldn't. la liz got there and kept tweaking mattys nipples. she finally came up to me, grabbed my ass and said, "strip, bitch". i did, and it wasn't so bad. when matts friends came around, i felt embarrassed, and kept crossing my arms. matt squeezed the back of my neck and whispered something to me. something that i'm not sharing, but, it was very sweet. it helped. it didn't make the shyness go away completely, but, it really did help. my sweet boy. that's enough of that. we left the bbq and headed back to smltwn, around 7. the bbq at my aunts house was a much more comfortable, fun affair. we had a blast. the fireworks were awesome. all the kids had fun. good times. met adam at the gym this morning. we did the usual breakfast thing afterwards. i had the yummiest fruit salad and a sausage patty. adam and i also split an order of biscuits and gravy. i was starved, this morning. i'm not gonna get into what went down between adam and i. the conversation, etc. i won't say that it's just super simple to change things from what they were to what they are now. i'm just thankful that we both feel the same about how important our friendship is to each other. so, that's good. really good. i think that everything's gonna work out. i'm very glad about that. part of me is like, 'you're a lucky, undeserving bastard. some of the stuff you pull off is bullshit' then, other times i'm like, 'i handled things like an adult...basically, and i did nothing wrong....mostly'. so, there. i'm not sure where to go from there. i guess i'm done. |
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