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2005-02-18 - 12:45 a.m.
realizing stuff bites

clap just keep itchin' - primal scream

just put matt to bed. tired but not sleepy. not sure how that's possible. i'll have to get to bed soon. matt will be out soon. he always knows when i'm not next to him. i figure it's since he reaches for me. i woke up really not wanting to get up. that's the second day in a row. i was off yesterday, and i was gonna cut my hair, and wash clothes, and run some errands. oh, brother. i woke up, did nothing for hours. i was in the bathroom cutting my hair when matty got home. he helped me with the back of my head, and when we finished and i was getting in the shower, he joined me. can i just say, i love showering with matt. soapy naked bodies rule. we watched lost in bed, and didn't eat dinner. after all the bed time i'm starving. i want cookies, but, we don't have any. i had lunch w/ adam today. some girls from work were there (good mex joint) and came over to tell me how cute i was w/ my haircut. i did the blushing/looking down thing, mumbled thanks and hoped they would go away. they did, and i was staring at my plate for like a long time. finally, adam gently kicked my shoe under the table and said, "it's okay. relax". i did...eventually. i don't like being embarrassed in front of anyone. for some reason though, it's worse in front of adam. it feels like he can see right through me sometimes. that sketches me out. matt can see right through me and that's okay. sure, my shy side doesn't really care for that, but, relationship wise, it's a wonderful thing that we know each other so well. sometimes, when we're "together" he'll look at me in that way, and i have to look away. anyway, when i got back to work, i kept thinking about fucking adam in my car. we didn't. but, i kept thinking what if we did. i don't know what all is gonna happen, but, i kinda think our time w/ adam is going to come to an end.

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13

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