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2005-01-18 - 5:27 p.m.
ramblestiltsken

say that you love me - the cardigans

what a nutty few days it's been. i've been trying to get over being sick, and i'm almost over it, but i've gotta cough that won't quit. sucks. i've been working a lot. i guess that's good. last saturday we went out to the local gay bar. adam and i were dancing and rubbing up on each other and this guy that likes adam came up and asked if we (adam and i) wanted to come home with him. i told him that i had a boyfriend and had no say as to what adam did. the guy was gorgeous. i told adam to go home with the guy and fuck his brains out. he got the guys number and matt and i ended up at adams when the bar closed. i'm not sure what it all means, you know?

kinda kooky.

i guess in the big gay scheme of things, the fact that matt and i choose to sleep with adam as a couple is not too terribly bizzare.

then again, maybe it is.

i don't really think so.

then again...

i'm having ball achingly good sex with two beautiful men.

is that so wrong?

i guess it kinda weirded me out when adam didn't go home with that guy.

as far as i know, he still does his own thing. it's not like he stays over all the time. maybe 2 times a week.

we go shopping together, or out for drinks, movies, etc.

it's not just sex.

don't get me wrong, waking up with matt's hard thingie on my one side and adams bubble butt on my other is pretty fucking rad.

i dunno.

maybe it's just as well adam didn't go home with that guy. when i was alone at the bar, getting our drinks, he came over and slipped me his number. i actually left it on the bar, and got some catty remark from some random queen who saw me. i had my hands full with three beers, so i just gave him a withering glance as i made my way from the crowded bar.

that bitch doesn't know me, m'kay?

i was being a fucking saint...sheesh

kidding.

i didn't tell adam about the guy and the number thing.

i didn't really see the point.

like, hey, he thought i was hot too, see?

pretty lame.

i didn't tell matt either. i figure, i didn't keep the damn thing, so why bother. there was no interest, or chance of acting on anything.

honestly, i just think it's sorta embarrassing to have to show your guy or friends that guys like you, or are showing an interested.

besides, let's not fucking kid ourselves. he didn't like me. he didn't know me. maybe it was my arms in that sleeveless tshirt, or my butt in my jeans.

whatever, you know?

it's like.....well, i dunno what it's like.

i got into stuff that embarrasses me, and i'm still breathing.

but, damn is it hot in here.

later...

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13

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