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2004-09-24 - 8:43 p.m.
man's best friend

it's just the way that you love me - paula abdul

since i've let so much time pass, there's no way i can go into everything in any kind of coherent, cohesive, clear/and or concise detail.

chad's been trying to get into my good graces again.

when matt found out about this, he got royally pist and gave me the "he goes or i go" ultimatum.

after quelling the urge to knock his motherfucking block off, i asked what the fuck his problem was. he ignored me and went to bed.

the next day, he broke down and told me that he was jealous and it bothered him that i had all these good looking buddies that he sees as MY friends and that he doesn't fully trust. i asked him what about robbie (a ex/friend of his) and he said that he wanted to fuck me, and that even though i don't really get along with his other friends, he swears up and down that though they may not be the friendliest towards me, that he knows "for a fact" that they'd screw around w/ me in a heartbeat.

that kinda floored me. i truly didn't know what to say about that. as bad as i felt, i sure as heck wasn't gonna apologize because his friends apparently can't keep it in their pants when it comes to me.

let's not even get into the fact that they obviously talk about me like i'm a piece of meat when i'm not around, and try to treat me like shit when i am. i say try because even on their best day no a single one of them could cut me up like i could them. i'm a fucking ginzu. they're cheap plastic never gonnabes.

so, we talked and i'm glad. i told him that chad is never gonna be in my life again.

i'm not the type to go for jealous guys. however, matt kept it in for a long time and he's not a complete asshole about it. one thing that i'm kinda glad about is the fact that when we were talking about our feelings (insert gagging sounds here), i pointed out that it's not always easy to say what you're feeling. even when you're really bothered about something. you know, kinda trying to show him that sometimes he expects me to like fully disclose and i can't do it. it's not easy.

there's been more family crap due to a greedy, manipulative cousin. i think it's getting better now...i think.

oh, saw the pixies, last night. they were fucking incredible! so so so good. the thrills opened and they were excellent. we had such a good time with us. we met up with friends and had a couple of drinks in los feliz, before we made our way up the hill. we saw danny masterson from "that 70's show". alas, ashton and demi weren't with him.

check out the thrills latest "let's bottle bohemia". it's the nuts.

i went to check out the antique stores looking for a shelf. a very specific shelf. it's a midcentury two squares interconnected kinda thing. after going through every freaking shop on state street, i finally found one. it's so perfect. i'm so totally gay, getting a hard on for antiques. anyway, i got it and i'm super happy with it. after treating myself to a trip to urban outfitters, and flirting with this hot college guy, i got home cleaned, and painted the shelves. when matty got home i showed him my handywork and he told me, "good job, prettyboy".

we went out to dinner tonight. just the two of us. it was nice. i wore my new slouchy jeans and one of mattys sweaters. i haven't shaved in about a week, and i like the scruffiness. matty's not crazy about it but he's not being a jerk about it. i think it's pretty sexy, if you wanna know the truth.

there's probably a lot more, but i'm tired.

later

p.s. if this doesn't wanna make you have a pet, i don[t know what will...

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13

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