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2004-05-20 - 9:27 a.m. call me morbid - the smiths hi blankwave! thanks for your note. i need sleep. i opened up shop yesterday. i was there at 6 am. in case i haven't explicitly spelled it out; i am NOT a morning person. we ended up at "the bar", last night. la liz called and said that attendance was mandatory. we showed up around 9:30, and i was starving. matt had fixed dinner since his "poor pretty boy" (that would be me) had to work so early. anyway, just as dinner was coming out of the oven, my cousin called, and we stayed on the phone forever. she's the one who's my best friend. i was her "man of honor" (a term i hate. i prefer best man). she lives w/ her hubby up in northern cali. she basically felt bad about not being able to see our aunt, and be here with/for the familia. i had to convince her that no one is upset with her. we know she lives far and she has a job and can't just plunk down cash for airfare. she's guilty. i felt bad for her. she's been up there for a few years now, but, she still gets homesick. it's times like this when someone is sick that we all lean on each other, and she feels too far away, removed from it all. (sigh) by the time we got off the phone, matt was on his cell w/ la liz. i was sitting in the living room, kinda spaced out, thinking. matt squeezed the back of my neck and handed me the phone. after a few minutes, she convinced me to come out. i ended up getting my patented "instant hangover". does that happen to anybody else? where you drink, and your body bypasses the buzz and moves straight to the hangover. i think the poor sleep, the empty stomach, and the sadness of talking to my cousin just killed the buzz. i was fine though. really. sometimes, i'm just kinda quiet. it's not my shyness. that's something i deal with also, but, it's seperate from that...i think. i'm quiet because i've got nothing to say, or, i'm preoccupied with the never ending lists running through my head. whatever. anyway, i was quiet, and la liz did that thing that she sometimes does. i.e. try to "cheer me up". patches does this too. come to think of it, so does my cousin. maybe, it's a girl thing. i dunno. i played along (at least i tried to) at first. she'd put her arm around me and tell me, "smile, mijo". so, i'd smile. when she wanted to dance, i took her out on the floor. after awhile though, i just wanted to sit in our booth, and listen to the conversations swirling around me. i'd chime in when something piqued my interest. otherwise, i only spoke when spoken to. when i was at the bar getting drinks, this girl asked me if i wanted to dance. i politely declined, using the handful of beers as my excuse. she was gorgeous. her hair was long, and straight. it looked silky. also, she had beautiful breasts. i know i've talked about breasts before, right? every once in awhile, they just...interest me. this girl's were very nice. what am i talking about? such a dork. we got home around 1am, and i was up at 6:45. why? i tried to go back to sleep, but it was a no go. i poked on matty til he woke up, had the sex, and decided to make my man some pancakes. btw, my pancakes are really coming along. before he left, matty told me to go back to bed. if only it were that simple. i went for a short run, and i'm glad i did. running always helps me clear my head. now i'm sleepless and emptyheaded. good times... |
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