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2004-05-15 - 11:46 a.m. i tried to forget about familial stuff, last night. we went out dancing. it was okay. i wore my ryan atwood drag. wifebeater, tight, unbuttoned western shirt, and my lowrise, dark washed levi's. i had two 7&7's in about 10 seconds. it must've been fate, since a few minutes later, when this complete douchebag "brushed" past me, and told me i was "so goddam hot", i was able to tell him to fuck off. i guess i had fun. it was pretty cool. on the way home, i felt guilty for enjoying myself. i got sorta sad. matty grabbed my hand, and said things that made me feel better. we got home and he undressed me, led me to our bed, and took control. i needed him to do that. i didn't realize that until it was happening. it was, i dunno, release, or something. he rubbed his sweaty forehead between my shoulder blades, and when he put his head over my shoulder and bit my earlobe, i came so hard it hurt. i woke up with his knee between my legs, pushed up against my ass. i felt so safe, so loved. he woke me up this morning and made love to me again. i love him so much. my sweet boy. i don't know what's going to happen. things don't look so great. what's the point? i don't know. something about love. something about sharing your life w/ someone. whatever. |
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