2004-03-02 - 12:47 a.m.
to tell the truth
baby, let me know / you got me sorta anxious - the dazz band ugh... it seems that chad's b/f thinks that him and i are messing around. or, that's what he told chad. actually, we went out for drinks sunday after the oscars, and after a coupla shots, the b/f tells me that i'm "so fucking cute" that he can't stand it. i gave him my patented eye roll "yeah, whatever, dude" combo, and finished taking a piss. did i say anything? no. i chalked it up to one too many cocktails and just strange vibes all around. i think that what did it was that when us couples parted ways, everyone hugged, and when i was supposed to dutifully hug the b/f, i coughed in my hands and just said, "later". too much? i don't think so. i really don't. not when i could've said, "fuck off, shitheel". chad called earlier, and told me that he and the b/f had just gotten into an argument over yours truly and chad hung up on him. first of all, i'm a little bit pissed at chad. here's why: he actually told me, point blank that their argument was "because" of me. that's pretty uncool, right? i love chad. he and i became so close so fast. he's one of the coolest people i've ever known. he is a very special person to me. so, i let that slide. i could've brought up the fact that he told me how jealous his b/f is. or, how they've been arguing lately. i didn't though. i'm not asking for a medal, i'm just saying. here's the thing, it got on my nerves so bad, that i didn't tell him about the other night. how wrong is that? or, should i ever tell him. i don't wanna get in the middle of their bullshit. i'm not the problem in their relationship. nor, do i wanna become the problem. i did tell matt. he wasn't mad at me, but, he did think chad's b/f was pretty fucked. he doesn't think i should tell chad anything. he thinks that me trying to be a "good friend" will probably blow up in my face. i'm not freaking about this. i hope i don't sound like i am. i've always thought that the b/f was a sketchy character, but, i've held my tongue. what's the use? the road to hell is paved with good intentions, right? later
-take it / leave it-
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