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2004-01-22 - 9:06 p.m. the words get in the way - gloria estefan the move is complete. of course, no group activity in my family can go w/o the requisite blow out. usually, it's my dad. he yells and goes on and on, then, he's fine. we're all sick to death of him, but, he's fine. my mom's a yeller too. she's more of a sniper though. where my dad just has to be a big, obnoxious ass, my mom says that one thing, that one fucking thing that goes deeper and is much more hurtful than all my dad's bellowing. my sister is also a yeller, and she can cuss like a sailor. she's cussed out my parents, and whoever else pisses her off. she's like my dad, in that, once she goes off, she's pretty much okay. my brother is a teenager. tell him something, anything, and he'll shake his head, and slump off like the whole world is stupid and no one understands him. typical teenage bullshit. i'm the one that stays really, really quiet. it's obvious to anyone w/ a pulse that i'm fucking pist, but, i don't yell and scream, cuss and cause a stupid scene. i mean, yes, i've grabbed guys by the hair and thrown them into walls. that guy slugged me first. i don't fight often. i don't really even like talking about it, because people judge. i've never gone up to somebody and hit them for no reason. violence is the last way i think anyone should solve a problem. stuff has happened though, you know? oh, brother. there i go getting all confessional. silly, silly. anyway, i had a point, which was that i did the rare thing and got into it with my dad. i yelled at him, and just, i dunno. it was just some yelling. it's just so funny the way everyone looks at me. like, oh my god. he's yelling. after, when i was standing in the garage, and my brother was just staring at me, like i was either, a leper, or, the coolest guy he's ever met, i got super embarrassed. when i mumbled, "stop staring and get outta here", he patted my shoulder and said, "you're weird". did i spell weird right? it looks wrong, but, ie looks more wrong. anyway, even though it doesn't make any sense, and i can't explain why, i just had to kinda write about that. even though i left out some pretty important stuff, like what the argument was about, and the like, and i feel icky with embarrassment, i feel a little better about the whole thing. i wanna write some more, but, i really can't. later.... |
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