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2003-08-20 - 12:31 p.m. this doesn't happen to me everyday - madonna i'm not feeling well i think my anxiety is finally making itself super pronounced monday, i was trying to eat lunch and i was convinced that i was gonna choke on my food when i stopped eating, i was convinced i was gonna choke on my tongue what the fuck? i tried to relax, got ready for work, and was super nervous, i got to work, hoping to put my anxiety behind me, it didn't work i ended up calling my mom, and having her pick me up, and taking me to my doctor (who she works for) he thought it was an inner ear thing, i asked him about anxiety, and he said maybe so, he gave me some pills for dizziness, and one pill made me sleep for hours i'll say it again, i am a total lightweight so, now i'm going to the doctor again tomorrow, and he doesn't want me to drive to work, since i still feel lightheaded and dizzy he even brought up a brain scan... ...oy... i don't even want to think about some shit like that i'm not sitting around crying and carrying on i just wanna know what's up, you know? and writing this here is so like, look at me, i'm sick, blah fuckitty blah blah bullshit but, i'm sitting around, bored, since i'm not at work, and i tried the gym yesterday, and thought i was gonna pass out (so, that's out for awhile), and i'm reading my favorite diaries, and checking my email, and i decided to write, and this is what's happening, so this is what i'm writing about makes sense, right? why can't it all be cute bubble butts in trucker hats? why indeed... |
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