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2003-06-25 - 11:56 p.m. take a toke but don't choke - dr. dre just got some pictures of matt and myself from our camping trip by the beach. did i even mention that trip? it was local, and it was fun. there was like 5 of us: gabriel, jesus, matt, myself and that good time gal...la liz. she was the resident fag hag. every good trip needs one. anyway, he may have groused about the pictures, but i chopped off his head so put on your bibs, and drool on...
i always realize at the strangest times that i leave out an awful lot of stuff that we do. oh well. i got home from work tonight and matt was painting the bathroom in our bedroom. it's kinda cool, the color i mean. i'm all about blue, but he digs green. i've never really gotten into green, but i realize that he lets me get my way (very often) so i figure i should be flexible. *don't let's get started on how i get my way most of the time* i like the color. really. i figure with the the right tile it'll totally rock. i'm all about mosaics. i'm pretty handy like that. uh...yeah... matt had clothes in the washer, and dinner ready. i'm not sure how it happened, but i'm the housekeeper and he's the cook most of the time. it's partly cuz i can't cook for shit, and *this is him talking* i've got OCD, so who better to do the housework? by the by, i SO do not have ocd. i like order, but what's the alternative? chaos, that's what. besides, i like housework. i mean, scrubbing toilets doesn't give me a boner or anything, but i do a lot of thinking over the sink, or bowl. kinda like kyra sedgwick in singles when she's cleaning the toilet with campbell scott's blue tshirt. what else are you gonna do, right? it's housework, not brain surgery. also, if i put on some music it's like an aerobic work out. almost. after dinner, we drank corona's in the back yard. i love those times. just sitting with my sweet boy, listening to music, talking, and kissing under the stars. i know i've said it before, but he's the best kisser. hands down, no question. goddamn, i love that kid. i'm feeling less unhappy. that's good. people think that i'm such a happy guy. shyness and awkwardness aside. i mean, the people i know are just like used to that and stuff, you know? i'm talking like in general. people think i'm happy. the truth is i'm sad a lot. not neccesarily (sp?) depressed, but just sad about different things. maybe i am mildly depressed. i always stop myself from going there. just when i think maybe i am, i tell myself, 'NO. not me.' i think of real depressives as being unable to fuction. sleeping all the time, calling in sick to work, crying all the time. still, the things i've been labeled since i was a kid: anxious, sensitive, moody...well, kinda makes you think. later... la |
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