powered by SignMyGuestbook.com

current entry
older entries
profile
notes
email
lex designs
diaryland

.....

2003-02-09 - 10:19 p.m.
the first taste is always free

do you hear me? do you care? - missing persons

i'm exhausted. the last few days have been fun, frustrating, emotional, and long.

friday matt got home, got ready, and we headed off to l.a. we had some drinks at o'briens in santa monica, and the first thing that we came upon was a large, irate woman pushing the owner of the bar. then pushing the bouncer, and just kinda freaking out. we had drinks, and jose's ex roommate nicole, and her new roommate grace met us there. they're both young, thin, and all around gorgeous. suddenly, forty year old white guys in sweaters, and jeans from banana republic were swarming us. the girls got drunk fast, and about every third sentence from the both of them was, 'i'm so drunk', 'cut me off', or 'i can't even stand up straight'. girls are funny. i can't even explain it, but, they are. so, we leave and cab it to here lounge in weho. upscale, upwardly mobile, ridiculously good looking men everywhere. i had the most snore inducing conversation with a beautiful boy named ayl about workout routines. carbs, crunchs, cardio. oh my. when he leaned in for a kiss, i searched frantically for matt, who was all eyes with patches from the dance floor. they gave me a thumbs up, and walked over. i introduced ayl to patches, and matt, my boyfriend. ayl shook their hands, and left. we met up with some friends of nicole's who invited us to a friends house in brentwood, and off we went...

two words: bad scene.

drugs, yellow walls, dim witted men, and the most gigantic television i've ever seen. matt and i spent most of our time outside. we were later joined by patches and jose, who walked right by us and promptly began to loudly argue in the driveway. i immediately got up, but matt pulled me back down, told me to wait, relax, and that we'd just stay right where we were, and if things got outta hand, THEN we could get up, and interrupt. you wanna know the truth? i think at the time, that my basic plan of action was to punch jose in the face as hard as i could. i'm really glad that matt stopped me. of course, patches has no idea that i even stood up, and certainly no idea as to what i was planning when i got up. i don't yell, and carry on. you wouldn't even see me coming. i hate guys who announce that they're gonna fuck someone up, or whatever. you're gonna do it? fucking do it. do they wanna fight or put on a show? anyway, totally off the topic. sorry. i'm just waiting to see what's gonna happen, matt can sense my uneasiness and he starts to kiss me. so we're smooching, and i hear patches voice going, "hey, what are you two doing?" jose apologizes to matt and i, so does patches, and they explain that they sometimes drink too much, and get into these senseless arguments. she actually marvels at the fact that for as long as i've known them, and as many times as i've been around them that i've never actually witnessed one of these blowouts. i don't like people arguing, but, they got over it, came to their senses, had the class to apologize to their guests, and cop to the whole thing. so who am i to say anything. anyway, we get home at about 6 a.m. and sleep til noon. it was horrible. hungover, tired, and resembling a serial killer was not the perfect start to a perfect day. we had "breakfast" at about 3pm, and drove to hollywood to walk the boulevard. all the trashy, tacky horribleness was a bit much for me, but i didn't say shit. we got a blended mocha somewhere in that god awful hollywood & highland complex and i felt much better. then we headed off to the el rey for the phantom planet show. they were excellent. i'm so tired right now, but trust me, they were incredible. the crowd was great, they played lots of new stuff, and not once, but twice during their set did i get goosebumps and think, THIS is why i go to rock shows. so, pretty fucking good, yeah?

all in all a nutty coupla days. lack of sleep, losing my prescription sunglasses, and my brand new blondie pin somewhere in hollywood are a small price to pay to the gods of the boulevard. so, yeah.

tonight we went to my folks to say goodbye to my brother. he's going to hawaii for a week with the high school band. he's leaving smltwn like at 3 in the morning, so i had to go over to tell him i loved him, and all that kinda stuff. i'm very nervous about him flying that far without any of us, and honestly, i've been wanting to cry since i got home. i still might. i might sound stupid, but, you have to understand, we don't travel. and a 14 year old alone? please. i wish my parents had gone, and just been there, but, if they had all gone i'd be feeling much better. he's the baby, you know? another part of me is plain and simply jealous. i begged to play the drums when i was in 6th grade. i was truly interested. my parents were like, shut up. so, no drums. my kid brother? he skateboards, new decks, shoes, t-shirts, skate videos, thrasher magazine, etc. he wants to play the drums, school band, lessons, drumset, hawaii. when they brought my brother his drums, i went over to check 'em out, and started fooling around with them, and my dad came into the room saying, "that was you?". yeah, i said. "you're pretty good." i remember thinking like, fuck you. you know? let me just say, that i feel pretty pathetic even admitting to that, but, sometimes i get tired of keeping everything in. it's tiring. i love my dad, and when he wants to throw money at something, well, he's got a good arm. whatever. don't get me wrong, i'm spoiled rotten. he's got the baby thing, i'm the oldest, my sister is the "bad one" that takes all the attention by constantly commanding the attention by her actions. none of us is innocent. we're all the same, only different. right?

'night...

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13

designed by lex; hosted by diaryland.

The WeatherPixie