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2002-10-14 - 11:18 p.m.
please please tell me now

boy howdy, what a weekend...sorta. friday, i went and saw two movies. rules of attraction, ho hum. it was semi entertaining, but, not as good as the book. the best part was where "victor", played by kip pardue, talked about his european vacation. afterwards, i saw moonlight mile. that was a great movie. i thought it was just gonna be sad, and i was prepared for that. so, when there was more to it, i was pleasantly surprised. susan sarandon is a badass. she was also great in igby goes down. she's one of the greats. anyway, see moonlight mile.

saturday, we went to weho, and had a good time. lots of dancing, and a little drinking. i think it's sorta funny for someone who trys not to care what i look like (yeah right), that i have such a hard time deciding what i want to wear. i tried the tight t-shirt thing, then the muscle shirt thing, but, as usual, i chickened out. i wore my diesel jeans that matt bought me, and a black button down shirt with a cool old tie. oh, and the sleeves have to be rolled up, but, only to the elbow. when i see a guy with his shirt like that, oh, baby. it's a huge turn on. i'm not sure why. i like forearms. i'm a geek. we had fun. i actually didn't want to go to weho. i was opting for los feliz. like maybe dinner at the dresden, catch a little marty & elaine, and then drinks at tiki ti. i was also semi bugging to go to cheetahs. the greatest strip club ever. matt's never been, and i've been bugging him to go. he told me he wanted to dance, and have a good time. i could dig it, so weho it was. once we got there, i was so glad we were. there's something very cool about watching other gay couples, male, or female, just walking down the street, holding hands. even the billboards are gay. i LOVE that. it's a cool place to be on a saturday night. patches always comments on how clean west hollywood is whenever we're there. i just think that's funny. also, i love the pavillions there. we once saw david chokachi there. he's wicked hot.

sunday, was hangover & sex day. it was great, and stuff, but, i don't really want to talk about that. that night, in bed, he asked me if i still thought about talking to someone regarding my shyness. i told him the truth, sometimes. sometimes i think it's the worst thing ever, and sometimes i don't think it's so bad. i asked what he thought, and he said he didn't want to offer his opinion. that if he said i should, i'd possibly resent him, or think he thought i had a "problem", and if he said i didn't, that i'd resent him for not taking it more seriously, or not realizing how bad my "problem" was. he said i should do what i want because i want to do it for me. i understand where he's coming from, but, i'd still appreciate his take on the subject. i think i'm the type of person who can't look at myself objectively. AND, he should know by now that just because he says one thing, it doesn't mean that i'm gonna run right out, and do it. i have a very strong sense of self. i'm not mad, but, i wish he would've just told the truth, whatever it was. instead, he opted for the easy answer. maybe i am a little mad. only a little though. i don't know. whatever. goodnight.

-take it / leave it-

older entries:
when the walls come tumbling down - 2007-08-17
long weekend - 2007-05-21
gays gone wild - 2007-04-22
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13
fried and objectified - 2007-03-13

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