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2002-08-21 - 11:29 p.m. no other path...no other way...no day but today...rent i was in l.a. today. i took the artist formerly known as jailbait shopping. so, we're on melrose - ugh - and we're in urban outfitters - double ugh - and he's trying on shoes, and we're talking. mando wants for him to move to san diego, and he wants to move, but, he's scared of what his parents will think/do. i told him to do what he wants, and to not let his parents expectations/bullshit dictate his life. he gave me his eye roll, and then i told him, okay, easier said than done, but, he did have the right to make himself happy. you can't push the artist too hard. he does not, i repeat, does not take too kindly to that. i think that's one reason we couldn't make it work. we're both way too stubborn. la liz calls us (us being: the artist, mando, and myself) los tres burros. the three donkeys. we're all stubborn. i don't know if it's a latino male thing. or just a male thing. when the three of us argue, we REALLY argue, and no one wants to back down first. it's usually mando, then me, then the artist. or maybe it is me last. whatever. i loved being w/ the artist in l.a. it is fascinating/wonderful to see him come into his own. he drew lots of attention today, and he handled it well. it just made me think of a lot of things having to do w/ when we first started going out. stuff i won't get into. i bought him this super sexy tank w/ a seventies theme. after the tacky blah blah of melrose, i took him to this great coffeehouse on hollywood blvd. called cafe mi cultura. it's a latino coffehouse/cafe. they have art, books, and coffee. three of my favorite things w/ one of my favorite people is a wonderful thing. in los feliz, we ate lunch, and shopped a little more. there is the most awesome goodwill. right across the street from the soap plant, a little slice of heaven here on earth. they sell toys, books, hawaiiana, latin art, jewelery, AND they have an art gallery in the back. the soap plant was in fact a soap plant in the 40's, i believe, hence the name. anyway, it's a great place to just wander around in. on the way home, we had a really good talk, and i just felt so close to him. in a way that i haven't felt since we were involved. i love when you can be with someone you've know forever, and out of the blue have this fantastic conversation, and sort of like fall in love w/ them all over again. like rediscovering something precious that you forgot you even had. i don't know. i don't think i'm explaining it right. i am a conversation junkie. good conversation is better than sex. better than the hottest guy, the most talented mouth, the tightest...good conversation is harder to have than good sex. i've had sex w/o conversation, and we all know the reason why. i can undress you, stick my tongue down your throat, undress you with my teeth, blah blah blah, BUT, i couldn't always talk to you afterwards. THAT'S the hard part. conversation is king. being able to have amazing conversation primes me for sex. if you're turning me on w/ words, you're turning me on period. that's why i love matt. the first time i hung out w/ him was at a voodoo glow skulls show. we were at this great bar across the street from the club, and we talked, and talked. i was crushing hard. we talked about everything, and that's when i fell for him. long before we ever went out. i recently told him that i cornily like to think of that as our first date. he told me he felt the same way. we could kick ourselves for not pursuing things more quickly. instead, we thank our lucky stars that we got over our shyness/hangups/issues/blahblah and got our shit together. goodnight... |
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