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2002-07-23 - 11:35 a.m. me: i think i like linkin park now. (after being assaulted by their music for a mini eternity) hollie: no you don't. hey, the above exchange proves one thing. hollie is one cool chick. saving me from the darkside, or lameside. whichever. anyhoo, matt has begun the moving in business. lots of clothes, and fiestaware. we're gonna use his bed. mine's a full, his is a king. and, thankfully, my bedroom furniture goes w/ his bed, and we don't have to mess w/ that. sunday was fun. sort of a blur of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. robbie came down to smltwn for a visit. his summation, "no wonder all you two do is fuck. there's nothing to do here". matt tried to explain how that's the beauty of the place, but robbie was having none of it. i can understand his way of thinking. when you are brought up in a big city, or whatever, you are used to certain things. when you aren't, like me, you are used to NOT having certain things. i think it's cute how matt gets almost offended by the resounding yawwwwwns that smltwn gets from our big/bigger city buddies. it's definitely not for everybody. stuff happened this weekend, and i can't really get into it. A: because i promised matt i wouldn't. and B: because i don't want to come off in any particular (negative) way. matt does NOT read my diary. he doesn't ask what i write about, and doesn't try to edit my content. BUT, on this subject, he made his position clear. so, with the little that i did mention, do the math. i am in a good place in my life right now, and that makes me nervous. last night, i couldn't sleep for shit. so, i woke matt up, and stuff happened, and now he is asleep in OUR bed, cuz he called in today. as he was dialing the phone, i was kissing the unbelievably soft skin of his inner thighs. he began to speak, and i began licking his balls. he gave me a stern look, but, i couldn't be stopped. after he hung up, he said, "you're a bastard". my reply? "roll over". so, afterwards, as i was breathing hard on the back of his neck, and nibbling his ear, i told him how much i loved him. how happy i was with him. how excited i was to start this new chapter in our lives...etc. etc. i usually keep these sacred moments of pure joy to myself. i don't talk about the sweet, corny, mushy stuff to my friends, or anyone. but, i sometimes want to. with this thing, i can, and some might think i'm boasting, or be grossed out, but happiness, not just mine, sometimes needs to be shared. here, i can do it, but not have to look anyone in the eye, or deal with teasing, or dumb questions, or whatever. i could never mention this to anyone face to face. i start stuttering pretty bad when i'm trying to discuss a subject i find severely embarrassing. so, i don't. whatever. i'm just happy, and i'm done now. later |
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