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2002-07-11 - 11:00 a.m. listening to: sundays best - the californian when i look at you...memories of love...you stay on my mind... alexander o'neil / cherelle hey, i just sat on my balls (ouch), and i'm having big time matt withdrawls. i hate when he works, and i don't. we've been spending a whole lotta time together. i'm changing my mind about living together, but, i haven't said anything yet. maybe this weekend. it's just been nagging on me for a while now. that not so little voice that was saying, 'no. don't do it' is now saying, 'wouldn't it be great...' it seems to have happened just like that. i just got home from breakfast w/ my aunt. we bought tix to see superdrag, and deathray davies, next month. very exciting. phantom planet, hot snakes, and...rival schools tix go on sale tomorrow. i'm such a geek about buying tickets. i'm like, 'gotta get 'em' i don't like to wait. in this case though, i've got good reason to. the troubadour is very small, and thusly, sells out quickly. many is the time i've been assed out by trying to buy tickets at the door. this is usually with steve. he's lousy at time management, and doesn't have that geeky, urgent quality that get you in the door. i bought the royal tenenbaums on dvd last night. i might watch it today. warped tour tomorrow. what i'm gonna do for the rest of the weekend i do not know. i wouldn't mind heading down to o.c. and visiting robbie. last night i did something in bed w/ matt that i've been wanting to do for awhile, and it was as great as i thought it would be. i'd just been too embarrassed to ask. so, in the middle of things, i sorta blurted it out, and he was like, "yeah"? i just shook my head, and continued on course. but, he stopped me, and said some stuff, and got me to say it again, and we did it. afterwards, he told me to never be embarrassed, or uncomfortable about telling him anything. sexually, or otherwise. he tells me that all the time, and i understand, but i'm not so sure he does. it's not easy for me, but, i do what i can, AND, i'm not nearly as bad as i used to be. whatever. i can't wait to see rival schools. they are incredible live. just awsome. oh well, i'm done boring myself. you know, there have been kind of a lot of pageviews of my diary. i'm assuming my banner is still running. i hope to actually see it one day. i will admit to staying on just to see it, but haven't as of yet. i wonder what these people think when they read about some gay guy who fucks his boyfriend a lot, and talks about a whole lotta nothing much. well, sorry y'all. it's just my life. it's nothing much to you if you're not in it, but it's mine, and it works for me. good day dland... |
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