| current entry |
| older entries |
| profile |
| notes |
| lex designs |
| diaryland |
.....
 |
� |
|
2002-05-20 - 11:43 p.m. islands in the stream..that is what we are..sail away with me to another world..dolly part0n/kenny rogers hey, i really miss square pegs. am i alone? they rerun every suck ass sitcom on the planet, and not square pegs...WHY? i mean..fucking full house..but not square pegs? there is no god!! btw, is it just me or don't the olsen twins look like troll dolls? just puttin' it out there, y'all. work was fucknutastic!! i am in the type of mood where if you yawned wrong i'd pick a fight. that's not a good thing. i guess every boyfriend-family member-friend-co worker-stranger on the street-people from other planets- etc., is right, i AM a moody fuck. who knew? tonight with matt was like...fuck fuck..leave me alone. i told him i didn't feel like talking til after the sex, and he was fine with that, so i don't feel bad. THEN..afterwards, i was better able to speak like a civilized human...basically. i just needed to nut first. sometimes it's true, you just need to get laid. i believe big daddy, marvin gaye said it best, "when i get that feeling..i need sexual healing". word. you know when you're fucking exhausted, and you have "the sex", and it just feels...awesome. your legs are like jello, and you're sore, and achy, but the act is so intense that you forget, then when it's over, and you're lying there, and you just feel...different...better. yeah. so, i just let matt lay on top of me, and i ran my hands up and down his back, and ass, slowly. so soft under my fingers. i felt kinda bad cuz after we showered he was like, what's up for tonight, and i was like, "i'm going home". i think i revved him up, and then i left him with his dick in his hands...literally. so, i get home, and i spark one up cuz it's been that kinda day, and brent calls. we talked for like an hour. we are going to the beach on friday. he asked if matt was going, i said no, and he said, "good". i will not fuck brent. i will not fuck brent. i will not fuck brent. i will WANT to fuck brent, and then i will fuck the ever loving shit outta matt. so...yeah. i think i'm at the point in this relationship where i want to fuck around, but i won't...but i'll want to. i don't beat myself up too bad for wanting to fuck other guys. i think it's natural. i don't think i'm letting myself off any kind of "hook" for thinking it's natural. i see random guys all day every day that i would like to do all sorts of stuff to. it's such a guy thing. that's it..no excuses, or apologies. sorry..ha ha!! i think i just felt an earthquake..seriously. probably not though. i never feel "real" earthquakes when everyone else does, but i feel "phantom" ones. living in socal always makes it "possible", so when i think i feel one, i actually could be feeling one. whatever. i told matt about brent by the way, and how i suspect that he's maybe interested in fooling around. matt says that he trusts me, and that he doesn't blame brent for flirting w/ me. awwwwww...shut the fuck up. see, like tomorrow, i'll tell matt about my phone call w/ b. just because if you put it out there, then later on down the line, nothing will seem like a "secret", or "betrayal". hope for the best...prepare for the worst, right? riiight....goodnight. |
|
| � |
older entries: |