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2002-03-20 - 10:01 p.m. there's a tear in my beer...? hello little friend, i am sorry for being so predictibly lame earlier. i can't bring myself to read that entry just yet. i'm afraid that i came off like a super chump. but, i will not change what i wrote. i told myself i would not be a revisionist. moving on, matt told me he had just the thing to make me forget about the mean girl. i forgot my own name for a minute, but i digress. lying in his bed just made...well, it made a lot of things. made me happy. made me warm. made me hot. made me laugh. made me calm. made me think. staring into his liquid brown eyes where he loomed above me. i fell hard. he asked me to stay the night, and he was so shy. he asked so quietly. that feeling is so weird, you know? i mean, didn't he know i'd say yes? he had to know i'd say yes. can i ever truly convey that warm quiet closeness that two people feel together in bed? heart pounding, breath juuussst getting back to normal. that strong gaze communicating something unspoken, but so fucking wonderful. the kiss. long, and wet, and sweet. when you reopen your eyes, and it's like seeing him for the very first time. there he is looking into your eyes too, w/ the same sort of sheer wonder. and you sort of just barely inaudibly gasp, to yourself. like, he's mine. that face, that body, and, you hope, his heart. and it's okay to feel that then, in that context. it's not scary, or lame. it's just the right thing to think. it's the only thing to think. logic is futile. emotion is king. love is unspoken, but ever present, and he is in your arms. wow, i...don't...know. wow. goodnight little friend |
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