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2002-03-15 - 10:20 p.m. thunder only happens when it's raining. players only love you when they're playin...fleetwood mac hello little friend, work today was horrible, and you know what? the worst part was that i fell for everyone's bullshit. i'm usually sooo good about letting the shit go right around me, but, today? oh no, i fell for it hook, line, and sinker. whatta stupnagel. so, today+work=bad. the only good thing i can say about work is that i'm not there now. thank god for this weekend off. i'm home early tonight. i had drinks w/ the gang. hong kong inn+double scorpions=double vision. i wanted very badly to make out w/ matt in the bar. i settled for groping him shamelessly under the table like a wanton trollop (is there any other way)?. if anybody noticed, how could they not? they didn't mention it. patch, and dan, and shawna, and la liz, and mando-lay were all there. mando wanted jailbait's digits. muthafuka, say what? i will not touch a hair on that kids head, but, i certainly don't want to know that a guy i dated for almost a year, is going out w/ or fucking another guy i was screwing around w/. mando-lay told me i was being small, or actually, "i can't believe you're being this small". i said, bitch, how long have you known me? what are you, new? this is exactly the thing i would be, should be, and will always be "small" about. now, i'm no springer- bitch-ghetto-ass type, but, i have buttons just like everyboby else. plus, hong kong inn+double scorpions=beligerent behavior. i'll tell you what else, after i said my say, he still wouldn't let up. he even said something like, what do you care, you have a great guy you're seeing, i don't see the big deal. god bless that kid, he's got spunk. i hate spunk! at least that kind-ha! matt, the poor dear, sipped his drink, and held my hand under the table, tightly. i sweartabuddah if he had called matt my boyfriend, i would have blasted him. after asking to fuck my ex, in front of my current, if he had jinxed me by calling matt my boyfriend, oh jesuschristandmaryhanginoffthe crossgoddammitshit. we've known each other for over a year, but have been dating for like, what, a month? and sex for like 3 days? c'mon now, i want to be his boyfriend, and him to be mine, but not in front of my friends, while i'm buzzed, and getting more pist off by the nanosecond. no, i say. it pleases me not!! mando-lay is a fucknut. la liz, ever the cruel, but truthful voice of reason finally just told him to shut the fuck up. thank you. now see, i love mando. i was his first. god, 8 years ago. and here i am seriously wanting to just knock his block off. that's not right. of course, in the car on the way home, i'm practically tearing up, telling matt, i didn't mean it, i'd never hurt mando. jesus, I'M the fucknut. so who was wrong/more wrong? my buzz is wearing off, and the hangover is already starting. the fuzzyness behind my eyes is giving way to a steady pounding. goodnight... |
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